A Self Esteem Test
I’ve combed the Internet and local bookstores in an effort to find the quintessential self esteem test. While doing so it became clear to me that it is difficult, if not impossible, to test for some aspects of mental health.
Results of a test are specific and quantifiable. The answer to the question, “What is the capitol of Illinois?” is Springfield—Chicago and Champaign are not possibilities. A self esteem test that returned specific and quantifiable results about one’s self image would be of little value: “Take this test and we’ll determine if you suffer from low self esteem.” She who suffers from headaches does not to be told that she does, she already knows; likewise the sufferer of low self esteem.
What she needs to know is why her head hurts,
…how bad it hurts and what are the sources of her pain. By discovering these things she will then be able to focus on eliminating the causes of her headache and returning to a healthy, pain-free state. Likewise for he who suffers from low self esteem. The affliction is a given; it is the non-specific causes of the affliction that need to be unearthed and dealt with.
Rather than present you with a self esteem test I will provide you with something more introspective, insightful and hopefully more effective at helping you eliminate this saboteur of your efforts to grow and succeed.
The following evaluation was developed by Suzanne Harrill, M.Ed., a Licensed Professional Counselor. There are no right or wrong answers, only degrees of truth; remember, this is an evaluation, not a self esteem test. Use this exercise to discover limiting beliefs then go to “Improving Low Self Esteem” to find effective ways to eliminate them.
(For more information on Suzanne Harrill visit her website at:
Innerworks : Counseling and PublishingFor over 25 years, empowering people through counseling, teaching, and personal coaching. Self-help books to inspire inner worth, build good relationships, and discover spiritual meaning and purpose. Free on line self-help newsletter to spark the inner journey. http://www.innerworkspublishing.com/)
Rate yourself on each with a scale of 0 to 4 based upon your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors:
0 = I never think, feel, or behave this way.
1 = I do less than half the time.
2 = I do 50% of the time.
3 = I do more than half the time.
4 = I always think, feel, or behave this way.
1. I like and accept myself as I am right now, today, even as I grow and evolve.
2. I am worthy simply for who I am, not what I do. I do not have to earn my worthiness.
3. I get my needs met before meeting the wants of others. I balance my needs with those of my partner and family.
4. I easily release negative feelings from other’s judgments and focus instead on living my life with integrity and to the best of my abilities.
5. I always tell myself the truth about what I am feeling.
6. I am incomparable and stop comparing myself with other people.
7. I feel of equal value to other people, regardless of my performance, looks, IQ, achievements, or possessions.
8. I am my own authority. I make decisions with the intention of furthering my own and others’ best interests.
9. I learn and grow from my mistakes rather than deny them or use them to confirm my unworthiness.
10. I stop my critical self-talk and replace it with a nurturing, kind, encouraging voice.
11. I love, respect, and honor myself.
12. I am not responsible for anyone else’s actions, needs, choices, thoughts, moods, or feelings, only for my own.
13. I do not dominate others or allow others to dominate me.
14. I have good physical and emotional boundaries with others.
15. I feel my own feelings and think my own thoughts, even when those around me think or feel differently.
16. I stop using “shoulds” and “oughts,” which are value judgments that put me or another down. (It is irrelevant what I should have done or should do. It is more important to know what I am willing to do and not do.)
17. I am responsible for changing what I do not like in my life. I face my problems, fears, and insecurities and take appropriate steps to heal and grow.
18. I am a person of my word and follow through on the things I commit to do.
19. I forgive myself and others for making mistakes and being unaware.
20. I believe my life counts. I find meaning and have purpose in my life.
21. I deserve love and happiness even when others blame or criticize me, for I cannot control what others think about me.
22. I take care of myself on all levels: physical, social, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
23. I spend quality time with myself on a regular basis.
24. I release unreal expectations for myself and others.
25. I choose to love and respect all human beings regardless of their beliefs and actions; some I have a personal relationship with and most I do not.
(from Suzanne Harrill)
“A side benefit in working with the inventory is to notice where other people have self-esteem issues. You can grow in compassion as you learn to identify when another is struggling with self-esteem issues. This makes it a little easier to forgive negative attitudes and behaviors in others as well.”
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