4 Steps For Overcoming Guilt
(“4 Steps For Overcoming Guilt” is the third part of our discussion on Ego, “the person we’ve become” as opposed to “the person we are”. If you missed part one you will find it here .)
In part 2 of our discussion of ego development we looked at the debilitating effects that guilt can have on us. So how do we make this robber of self esteem go away? Here are 4 steps you can take for overcoming guilt.
1) Accept it and live with it. Guilt is hate/dislike/disappointment with self. This will lead to low self esteem, particularly a feeling of unworthiness. In fact, we see numerous examples of people actually achieving great deals of success only to sabotage it later on after unresolved low self esteem issues come to the surface.
2) How about the formula we used to alleviate true guilt, i.e. confess our sin, ask forgiveness and make atonement? An unlikely resolution as true persona will remind us that despite that of which we’ve been accused we in fact have committed no real transgression. To confess that of what we are not guilty is treason to our reason. Even if Rudy were to go to Doris and say “I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused our family” the voice of logic would remind him that he in fact was not the cause of the domestic unrest.To confess to that of which we are not guilty would be a valiant attempt to alleviate the result of someone’s actions, but certainly not our own. If there is any shred of logic still intact an inner conflict would result that would prevent the alleviation of guilt. Rudy may indeed have been sorry for all the things that resulted from Doris’s abuse, but he could not be sorry for an offense he did not commit.
3) Rudy could heed the voice of his sacred inner self, his true persona, and admit that he was not the cause of the unrest, that he was in fact the victim of someone else’s projection of their own guilt.
4) Logic says “you didn’t do it, it wasn’t your fault”. “Okay, so it’s not my fault, I accept that. But as I close that door and step into another room I find that I’m still feeling guilty. This time though, I’m feeling the guilt of self betrayal, of not having accomplished that of which I am/was capable. That hurts too, so in order to get rid of that guilt I will look for someone else to blame for the low self esteem that plagues me now. I will, in other words, project my guilt onto them where I can then attack it.
“Look at the failure I’ve become; it’s your fault and I hate you for what you’ve done to me!” the ego screams.
“Get over it,” whispers the true persona.
And when the pain of living the lies of ego becomes too much, surrender, forgiveness of self and acceptance of personal responsibility come to the rescue. The temple of Self-Loathing crumbles and the reconstruction begins.
“Do what you must do, Rudy.”
Return to Find Your “Self”